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130+ Christmas Jokes for Kids (Free Printables!)
Laugh your way through the holidays with family-friendly Christmas jokes starring Santa, snowmen, elves, reindeer, and more!
Table of Contents
Santa Jokes
Why does Santa go down the chimney?
Because it soots him!
What do you call Santa when he runs out of money?
St. Nickel-less.
What’s as big as Santa but weighs nothing?
Santa’s shadow!
What does Santa do when the reindeer drive too fast?
Hold on for deer life.
What do you call Santa when he takes a break?
Santa Pause.
Why did Santa Claus get a parking ticket on Christmas Eve?
He left his sleigh in a snow parking zone.
Why did Santa put a clock in his sleigh?
Because he wanted to see time fly!
What is Santa’s dog’s name?
Santa Paws!
What do you call Santa’s little helpers?
Subordinate clauses.
What did Santa change his name to when he became a detective?
Santa Clues.
What do you get if Santa goes down the chimney when a fire is lit?
Crisp Kringle.
When Santa is on the beach what do the elves call him?
Sandy Claus.
Who delivers presents to sharks?
Santa Jaws!
How much did Santa’s sleigh cost?
Nothing, it was on the house.
How does Santa take pictures?
With his Pole-aroid camera!
Why is Santa so good at karate?
Because he has a black belt.
What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck?
A Christmas Quacker!
Where does Santa put his suit after Christmas?
In his Claus-et.
What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney?
Claus-trophobia!
Where does Santa go when Christmas is over?
On vacation to a ho-ho-ho-tel.
What was Santa’s favorite subject in school?
Chemistree.
How do you know when Santa’s around?
You can always sense his presents.
What does Mrs. Claus say to Santa when there are clouds in the sky?
It looks like rain, deer.
What’s Santa’s favorite sandwich?
Peanut Butter & Jolly.
What do you say to Santa when he’s taking attendance at school?
Present.
Reindeer Jokes
Why is Prancer always wet?
Because he’s a rain-deer!
What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees?
Horn-aments.
Which of Santa’s reindeer has the best moves?
Dancer.
What do you call a reindeer with three eyes?
A reiiindeer.
Which reindeer sometimes flies around on Valentine’s Day?
Cupid.
Why do reindeer enjoy yoga?
It helps them feel Blitz-ZEN!
What game do reindeer love to play?
Truth or deer.
What do you call the elves who take care of Santa’s reindeer?
Jolly ranchers.
Which street in France is every reindeer’s favorite to fly through?
Rue Dolph.
What do you call a reindeer with bad manners?
Rude-olph!
Who did the reindeer invite to her Christmas party?
Her nearest and deer-est friends.
What should you give a reindeer with a stomach ache?
Elk-a-seltzer.
What’s the difference between reindeer and a knight?
One slays the dragon, the other drags the sleigh.
Why do reindeer always smile?
They like showing off their buck teeth.
How does Rudolph know when Christmas is coming?
He refers to his calen-deer.
What do the reindeer use to wipe off their sleigh?
Santa-tizer.
What do reindeer say before they tell you a joke?
This one’s gonna sleigh you!
What do you call a scary looking reindeer?
A cari-boo.
Can you name all of Santa’s reindeer?
No, they already have names.
Why did Rudolph cross the road?
Because he was tied to the chicken!
Snowman Jokes
What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Frosted flakes!
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite!
What do snowmen love to eat at barbecues?
Cold-slaw.
Why was the snowman looking through the carrots?
He was picking his nose!
What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?
The abdominal snowman.
Why does everyone love Frosty the Snowman?
He’s cool.
What’s Frosty the Snowman’s favorite dessert?
Ice Krispie Treats.
What song do snowmen sing at birthday parties?
Freeze a jolly good fellow.
Why was the snowman wearing headphones?
He was listening to some cool tunes.
What do snowmen take when the sun gets too hot?
A chill pill.
What did one snowman say to the other?
Do you smell carrots?
What did one snowman say to another snowman?
You’re cool.
What do snowmen wear on their heads?
Ice caps!
Where do snowmen do their online shopping?
The winternet.
What do you call it when a snowman has a temper tantrum?
A meltdown!
Where do snowmen keep their money?
In snow banks!
What do you call an old snowman?
Water.
What did the snowman do when he got upset?
He had a meltdown.
What’s a snowman’s favorite animal?
A b-lizard.
How does a snowman get around?
By riding an “icicle.”
What do snowmen eat for lunch?
Icebergers.
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Elf Jokes
What’s an elf’s favorite type of music?
“Wrap” music!
What do you call an elf that can sing and dance?
Elfis.
What do elves use to make last minute repairs?
Ig-glue.
How did Santa tell his elves to check their email?
“First, yule log in…”
What make of cars do elves drive?
Toy-otas.
What do elves put inside their shoes?
Their mistletoes
What kind of photos do elves take?
Elf-ies.
What do Santa’s little helpers like to eat on a cold day at the North Pole?
Elf-abet soup!
What did the elf learn at school?
The ELF-abet!
What do you call an elf who tells jokes?
A Christmas card.
What do you call an elf who learns independently?
Elf-taught.
What do you get when an elf passes gas?
Jingle smells.
Why did the elf put his bed in the fireplace?
He wanted to sleep like a log!
What do you call a greedy elf?
Elfish.
Miscellaneous Christmas Jokes
What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?
Tinselitis!
Why are Christmas trees so bad at knitting?
Because they always drop their needles.
Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?
It needed a trim!
What’s the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the regular alphabet?
The Christmas alphabet has no L (Noel).
How do sheep say Merry Christmas?
Fleece Navidad!
What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?
A pineapple!
How do you help someone who has lost their Christmas spirit?
Nurse them back to elf.
What happened to the thief who stole a Christmas calendar?
He got 12 months.
Why was the little kid so cold on Christmas morning?
Because it was Decembrrrrrr!
What did the grumpy sheep say when his friends wished him a Merry Christmas?
Baaaa humbug!
What falls but never gets hurt?
Snow.
What do gingerbread men use when they break their legs?
Candy canes.
What does the gingerbread girl put on her bed?
Cookie sheets.
How do snow globes feel this time of year?
A little shaken.
What kind of bug hates Christmas?
A humbug.
What kind of Christmas present just can’t be beat?
A broken drum.
What Christmas song does fruit like the most?
We Wish You a Berry Christmas.
What did one Christmas tree say to another?
Lighten up!
What body part do you only see at Christmas?
The mistle-toe.
How did Scrooge win the football game?
The ghost of Christmas passed.
Why is a foot a good Christmas present?
Because it makes a good stocking stuffer.
Why did the gingerbread man go to the doctor?
He was feeling crumby.
Christmas Knock-Knock Jokes
Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Ya.
Ya who?
Wow, you’re really excited about Christmas!
Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Mary.
Mary who?
Merry Christmas!
Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Donut.
Donut who?
Donut open till Christmas!
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Snow.
Snow who?
Snow use – I’ve forgotten my name again!
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Noah.
Noah who?
Noah good Christmas joke?
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Chris.
Chris who?
Christmas is here!
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Argue.
Argue who?
Argue going to pass the gravy or what?
Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Arthur.
Arthur who?
Arthur any leftovers?
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