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120+ Halloween Jokes & Riddles for Kids (Free Printable List)
Bring on the giggles and groans with these ghoulishly delightful free printable Halloween jokes and riddles for kids. They make great entertainment for parties or the dinner table!
Silly Halloween Jokes for Kids
Why are graveyards so noisy?
- Because of all the coffin!
What do you call a haunted chicken coop?
- A poultry-geist!
What type of key opens a haunted house?
- A spoo-key!
Why is a cemetery the perfect place to write books?
- Because it had great plots!
What treat do eye doctors give out on Halloween?
- Candy corneas!
What do you call a cow on Halloween?
- A boo-vine
Ghost Halloween Jokes
How do you know if a ghost is lying?
- You can see right through them!
What’s a ghost’s favorite pie?
- Boo-berry pie!
Why are ghosts such great cheerleaders?
- They have a lot of spirit!
What kind of mistakes do ghosts make?
- Boo-boos!
What kind of pants do ghosts wear?
- Boo-jeans!
What do you call a ghost’s pet?
- A scaredy-cat!
What’s a ghost’s favorite game?
- Hide and shriek!
What’s a ghost’s favorite flower?
- A boo-quet!
What kind of rocks do ghosts collect?
- Tombstones.
What do ghosts use to fix their hair?
- Scare spray.
How do ghosts wash their hair?
- With sham-boo!
What room is always missing in a ghost’s house?
- A living room
What does a ghost do when he gets into a car?
- Puts on its sheet belt!
Who did the ghost take on a date?
- His ghoul-friend.
What is a ghost’s favorite meal?
- Spook-ghetti!
Where do baby ghosts go during the day?
- Dayscare centers!
What position does the ghost play in soccer?
- Ghoul-keeper.
What do ghosts wear when their eyesight gets blurry?
- Spooktacles!
What did the ghost say when it found out it had been tricked?
- I’ve been bam-BOO-zled!
What comes out of a ghost’s nose when it sneezes?
- Boo-gers
What do ghosts use to remove their makeup?
- Vanishing cream!
Why did the police officer give the ghost a ticket on Halloween?
- It didn’t have a haunting license.
What’s a ghost’s favorite ride at the fair?
- The roller-ghoster!
What do ghosts like to eat for dessert?
- I-scream!
Why was the ghost crying?
- He wanted his mummy.
Why don’t ghosts like rain?
- It dampens their spirits!
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Skeleton Halloween Jokes
Why didn’t the skeleton go to school?
- His heart wasn’t in it.
Why didn’t the skeleton go to the party?
- He had no body to go with!
Why are skeletons so calm?
- Because nothing gets under their skin.
What do you call a skeleton who rings the doorbell?
- A dead ringer!
Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?
- It didn’t have the guts!
How do you make a skeleton laugh?
- Tickle its funny bone!
What does a skeleton order at a restaurant?
- Spare ribs!
Why did the skeleton run up the tree?
- A dog wanted its bones!
Why did the skeleton bring a ladder to the party?
- To reach the high spirits!
What do you call a skeleton that sits around all day?
- Lazy bones!
What do you call a skeleton that loves to clean?
- The grim sweeper.
Why did the skeleton cross the road?
- To go to the body shop!
What do you call a skeleton who goes out in the snow?
- A numb-skull.
What’s a skeleton’s favorite instrument?
- The trom-bone!
Where does a skeleton go for a fun night?
- Anywhere, as long as it’s a hip joint.
Witch Halloween Jokes
What do witches race on?
- Vroomsticks!
Why don’t witches wear flat hats?
- Because there’s no point!
What do you call a witch’s garage?
- A broom closet!
What do witches ask for at hotels?
- Broom service!
What do you call a witch at the beach?
- A sand-witch!
Why was the witch late for school?
- Her broom over-swept!
Why do witches fly on brooms?
- Vacuum cleaners are too heavy!
Why do witches wear name tags?
- So they know which witch is which!
What’s a witch’s favorite subject in school?
- Spelling!
Why do witches ride broomsticks?
- So they can make a clean getaway.
What’s a witch’s favorite makeup?
- Ma-scare-a.
What’s a witch’s favorite way to travel?
- By scare-o-plane!
Vampire Halloween Jokes
What do you call a vampire who loves to bowl?
- Count Strike-ula!
Why are vampires easily fooled?
- They’re suckers.
What’s a vampire’s favorite holiday?
- Fangs-giving.
Where did the vampire go to cash his check?
- The blood bank.
What do you call a vampire’s best friend?
- A blood brother!
Why did the vampire go to art school?
- He wanted to draw blood!
What kind of boats do vampires prefer?
- Blood vessels
What’s a vampire’s favorite ice-cream flavor?
- Vein-illa!
What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
- Frostbite!
What kind of dog does Dracula have?
- A bloodhound!
What’s a vampire’s least favorite food?
- A steak!
Why are vampires like false teeth?
- They both come out at night!
Why did Dracula take cold medicine?
- To stop his coffin!
What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit?
- A neck-tarine!
Why did the vampires get into an argument?
- They had bad blood.
Mummy & Monster Halloween Jokes
What’s a mummy’s favorite music?
- Wrap music!
Why don’t mummies take vacations?
- They’re afraid they’ll relax and unwind!
Why did the headless horseman go into business?
- He wanted to get ahead in life!
What kind of underwear do mummies wear?
- Fruit of the tomb.
How do monsters tell their future?
- They read their horror-scope.
What did the little mummy say it wants to be when it grows up?
- A wrap star!
Why don’t mummies have friends?
- Because they’re too wrapped up in themselves!
What monster plays tricks on Halloween?
- Prank-enstein!
How do mummies start their letters?
- Tomb it may concern.
What’s a monster’s favorite cheese?
- Muenster.
Why don’t werewolves ever know the time?
- Because they’re not whenwolves.
Zombie Halloween Jokes
What kind of horse did the zombie ride?
- A night-mare.
What’s a zombie’s favorite cereal?
- Rice Creepies!
Where do zombies live?
- Dead end streets.
What do zombies install on their door to stay safe?
- A dead bolt.
Why don’t zombies eat clowns?
- Because they taste funny!
Why did the zombie go to school?
- To improve its dead-ucation!
What’s a zombie’s favorite cheese?
- Zom-brie.
What do you call a movie about zombies falling in love?
- A zom-com.
Where do zombies love to go swimming?
- The Dead Sea
Pumpkin Halloween Jokes
Who helped the little pumpkin cross the road?
- The crossing gourd.
What do you call a pumpkin that works at the beach?
- A life-gourd!
Why was the gourd so gossipy?
- To give ’em pumpkin to talk about.
What do you get when you drop a pumpkin?
- Squash.
Why did the pumpkin take a detour?
- To avoid a seedy part of town.
How do pumpkins like to listen to music?
- On vine-yl.
How do you fix a cracked pumpkin?
- With a pumpkin patch!
Halloween Riddles
I have three eyes in a row. One of them is red. What am I?
- A stoplight
I can go up and down the stairs without making a sound. What am I?
- Carpet
The more of these that a werewolf takes, the more it leaves behind. What are they?
- Footsteps
You can’t see me and if you say my name, I disappear. What am I?
- Silence
Frankenstein’s father has three sons. The names of two of them are Egor and Dexter. What is the third son’s name?
- Frankenstein
I have a body, arms, legs, and a head, but I’m heartless and have no guts. What am I?
- A skeleton
I have four fingers and one thumb and can never move on my own. What am I?
- A glove
The person who built it sold it. The person who bought it never used it. The person who used it never saw it. What is it?
- A coffin
What’s covered in eyes and often found in bellies?
- Potatoes
I have many teeth, but don’t bite. What am I?
- A comb
Everyone has one of me, and I’m impossible to lose. What am I?
- A shadow
In a one-story haunted house, there was a gray cat on a gray bed, a gray ghost near a gray fireplace, a gray zombie on a gray chair, a gray vampire looking through gray curtains– everything was gray! What color were the stairs?
- There weren’t any stairs, it was a one story haunted house.
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